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Here are four character traits to definitely check for: Humility: Does this person believe that "doing the right thing" is more important than personal comfort? The husband needs to give her consistent, quality attention.
Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people? Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do what s/he says s/he's going to do? This is most apparent in Judaism's approach to intimacy.
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To avoid becoming a "statistic," try to internalize these 10 insights. You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after you're married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, "You actually can expect people to change after they're married... " So when it comes to the other person's spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills, and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character. Men and women have unique emotional needs, and more often than not, it is the man who just doesn't "get it." Jewish tradition places the onus on the man to understand the emotional needs of a woman and to satisfy them.
Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character keeps it burning. "I'm in love" often means, "I'm in lust." Attraction is there, but have you carefully checked out this person's character? Ask yourself: Do I want to be more like this person? The unique need of a woman is to be loved -- to feel that she is the most important person in her husband's life.
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