When I first met Rick he had the confidence and swagger of a 6 foot man – only he was 5 foot 2.
Before I share the results, a quick refresher on how CMB works: Every day at noon, CMB introduces members to one single (a.k.a.
a “Bagel”), whom they must LIKE or PASS within 24 hours.
The message many women send short men goes something like this: Yeah, sorry, but nothing you could say or do could ever give you a chance with me. For those of you who insist that you’re not attracted to short men, you should, at least, try to have a good reason why you’re not.
Men and women both fall prey to the (remarkably persistent) myth that sexual attraction works on auto-pilot, as if we are all preprogrammed to be attracted to the ones who captivate our attention. The type of person you’re attracted to depends largely on your beliefs. My client, Alexis, comes from the most machismo family I can imagine, full of firefighters, Marines, and gobs of Old Spice. In Alexis’ family, she was the only daughter and the men in her family were brawny and tough.
Sexual attraction largely derives from your upbringing.
What’s interesting about my client, Alexis, is that she had it wrong when it comes to her attitude about short men.
All this time, she’d told herself that she didn’t like short men because she simply wasn’t sexually attracted to them; in fact, the real reason she wasn’t attracted to short men was because she had a fixed image in her mind of what a man should look and act like as a result of her upbringing, and she needed the men she seeks out romantically to fit the same exact image of the men in her family. I spend more hours than you’d believe trying to help men and women change the type of person to whom they’re sexually attracted. The first step is to dig deep and ask yourself what in your history makes you attracted to a certain type, as well as what in your history repels you from a certain type.
In my work with women, I’ve found that there are two basic reasons why most women won’t date a short man: Some women will feel nervous about being too big, telling themselves they’ll look smaller if they’re with a bigger guy; others simply want the knight in shining armor, and they need a man to live up to a fantasy image of masculinity and size, telling themselves that a bigger man is also automatically emotionally stronger, too.
There are several reasons why this relationship exists beyond simple workplace discrimination, not the least of which being that adult height is related to socio-economic status in childhood.
But it isn’t just income that is causing short men to fair worse on the marriage market; even when we control for income women prefer taller men. Imagine that a woman can choose to communicate with one of two men on an online dating site.
So for example, a man who is less than 165 cm (5’5”) tall is, on average, paid 562€ less per month than a man who is between 185 and 195 cm (6’1” to 6’5”).