Have you ever met the perfect guy and then – surprise! It might not be your intention to date a single dad, but this happens to many women – especially those who prefer to date older men.Whether you’re currently dating a single dad or have your sights on a guy with kids, keep reading for helpful advice that will make your relationship run smoothly and prepare you to face unforeseen problems.
As a single dad wading back into the dating pool, Daniel Ruyter was surprised how many women lost interest when he revealed, always in the first conversation, that he had a son."At first I took it personally," said the Orlando, Fla., information technology analyst, who was 32 when he divorced and got joint custody of his then 5-year-old son.
"I found it very arbitrary that before they got to know me, they had decided against me."But as Ruyter cycled through "close to 100" first dates and a few long-term girlfriends (a scheduling feat, considering half his week was devoted to his son), his romantic standards heightened in ways they may not have pre-fatherhood.
Single moms, in contrast, preferred dating men without kids to reduce complications.
Single fathers have a tendency, more than single moms, to "feel incomplete" without a partner in the house, so they risk rushing into a new relationship that may not be right, said single dad Armin Brott, author of several books on fatherhood including "The Single Father: A Dad's Guide to Parenting Without a Partner" (Abbeville).
Some 2.8 million single dads live with their kids, up 27 percent from 10 years ago and nearly double the number in 1990, according to Matthew Weinshenker, assistant sociology professor at Fordham University, who analyzed 2010 census data.
(The number likely includes many joint custody arrangements.) While single dads face many of the same dating challenges as single moms, there are some differences: In a survey of 100 single fathers, the vast majority preferred to date women with children, thinking she would be more selfless and understanding of his commitment as a father, said Ellie Slott Fisher, who conducted the survey as research for her book "Dating for Dads: The Single Father's Guide to Dating Well Without Parenting Poorly" (Bantam).
TIP: Visit to browse photo profiles of single women and men looking for dates. This leaves little time to experiment with women with various personalities and attitudes.
So before you start making the rounds of the dating scene, consider the kind of women you would like to meet.
Perhaps you don’t even remember the last time when you had a great night out with a woman.
Here are a few ways to get back to the dating scene even while juggling work, home and parenthood. There are a thousand things to take care of at home but only after you manage to get out of the office.
If you’ve ever babysat, you know one kid is easier than three or four. The divorced dad doesn’t have to get along with his ex all the time, but if their relationship is rocky or she is a mean or difficult person, this can create strain on your relationship.